Most backpackers are using one big titanium mug you can cook in, and one spork. That's it. People don't generally carry mess kits these days. For a stove, you'll find that an isopropane canister fits inside of the mug, which goes with the MSR pocket rocket stove. But even lighter weight than that, people are switching to alcohol stoves, which you can make yourself. These are illegal to use in some places during fire season, due to possibility of catching stuff on fire on the ground. Oh, and a windscreen of some sort. You can make one--find it on YouTube. Any more cookware than that is overkill.
The Snow Peak HotLips Titanium 600 mug is a good bet, and available from REI and many other sources.
And that's it.