Apologies in advance for the long post!
Skimmed through this thread, but obviously didn't read all 13+ years/40 pages of posts. Wow! Seems like a wealth of info. At this point, I'm still using my parents vehicles to get to/from trailheads. Most of the time I'm going hiking/backpacking with them, so they don't mind.

1999 Ford Explorer Sport (2WD) with 145,000 miles and 2001 Chevy Suburban (4WD) with 254,000 miles. We also had a 2WD minivan that we took on many a forest road and camping trip, including to the South Bass TH during spring snowmelt. Unfortunately, it's life ended prematurely at 190,000 miles due to a crash (we were all OK!). All these, but especially the Suburban and Explorer have always gotten us everywhere we wanted to go, we never got stuck, and we never opted not to do a hike because of a bad road to get to the TH. The only exceptions are the Tortilla Trailhead in the Superstitions and the Elephant Hill road in Canyonlands. And I've only had to engage 4WD once in some serious mud in Mexico. Otherwise, even the Suburban we drive exclusively in 2WD without issues. Also, I should add that we use regular "street tires" rated for long life and quiet ride, never all terrains. Like others have noted, it seems like the driver can play as much of a role as the specifics of the vehicle. Credit to my dad for teaching me well! Obviously, both vehicles get poor MPGs, around 15 on the highway. I'm starting to think about buying my own car now that I've graduated from school and have a job, but it seems the market is flooded with all these crossovers that market themselves as adventure vehicles, but are really no better off road than a sedan. My brother takes his Prius all over the place off road, and same with our other sedans. They can all handle roads even beyond just your nice graded gravel road. The thing I find annoying is the lack of vehicles that have a full size spare tire, as if weoutdoor adventurers don't need on in our hiking care. Sure, people who never leave the city don't need a full-size spare, but going to remote trailheads and remote forest roads all the time...we've actually used spare tires out in the boonies where we were on our own!
My criteria are simple: Full size spare, 8+ inches clearance, and (ideally) 25+ MPG on the highway. Used, ideally < $10k. I don't care if it's 2WD or 4WD. My commute is short (7 miles), so the higher MPG is for cheaper road trips and keeping the cost down when driving to far away hiking destinations If I didn't make it clear, this isn't an off v.
So farehicle I'm looking for, just a normal vehicle that can be driven off road to get places. I consider Hewitt Canyon road to Rogers Trough the classic use case for me, where the road is just a means to an end, not the end in itself., the only ones I've come up with are the small pickups like Tacoma, Ranger, B2300, etc. if they have the 4 cyl. manual transmission combo, the CR-V through 2006, the RAV4 through 2012, the Grand Vitara, and the Jeep Cherokee and Renegade (but only the Trailhawk trim has a full size spare; and Trailhawk = $$$
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) Possibly also the 2008-2012 Escape/Hybrid, though I haven't been able to verify if it has a full size spare or not. All the body on frame SUV's (which admittedly make better hiking vehicles than car-platform SUVs) seem to top out at around 20 MPG on the highway. Things like 4Runner, X-Terra, Jeeps (Wrangler, Liberty, etc.), older Explorers and Expeditions, Tahoe, etc. etc.
Any vehicles I'm missing that meet the 4 criteria? I'm willing to budge a litt and price, not so much on clearance and full size spare.
Do you agree with my analysis on the state of the market, or am I way off base?
I appreciate your responses and l, wisdom, and insight!