Double Crap!

Snick33 · Post by **Snick33** » Jul 12 2002 1:00 pm

Unfortunately, I just found out that I have cancer of the larynx, (throat). I'm treating it aggressively and have scheduled a procedure for July 16th to have the growths removed. I'm very positive, and there is every indication that the procedure, with radiation therapy and chemotherapy will take care of the problem. I have instructed the surgeon, that if he deems the removal of larynx, (voice box) is indicated, that he not do so. I cannot, will not live without the ability to speak.

I have lead a rich, full life and I am prepared to endure whatever challenges are presented. I've always considered myself kind, understanding and generous. If God so wills it, I simply want to die with dignity and in peace. My life has been all the more enriched having known you all. There is a kinship of people who see, and share the beauty in nature, that is unlike any other relationship in the universe. I suppose it’s like being a child, and having viewed Orion for the first time with your father. You know that no matter where you are for the rest of your life, you will always have that shared experience.

I love you all,

Rick

jeremy77777 · Post by **jeremy77777** » Jul 14 2002 2:00 am

WOW. I thought I was the only one with insomnia!

Abe · Post by **Abe** » Jul 14 2002 7:02 am

Snick, I'm praying for you.

Nighthiker · Post by **Nighthiker** » Jul 14 2002 11:01 am

Snick, my prayers are with you.

Rodney · Post by **Rodney** » Jul 14 2002 1:14 pm

Snick33 wrote:If your up this late and bored, give me a call:

I'm usually up till the wee hours every night. If you ever want to chat, just drop me an email and I will normally reply with in a few minutes.

Rodney

Kim · Post by **Kim** » Jul 14 2002 3:55 pm

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Snick,

Just a quick post to let you know that while I have never met you, you have enriched my life by sharing with me/us the beauty you have found in life. When I go into the wilderness I will be able to smile not only for my experience but what you and others have found as well. Thanks for taking the time to share your words of wisdom and the benefit of your experience. I have always felt by nature that people are good. You back that statement up. Me and my gang are rooting for you! God bless you! Give Scout a big ol' hug and smoocharoni for me. Bet Scout has some pretty good stuff to say about you as well, if he could talk!

Best wishes,

Kim and crew

kurthzone · Post by **kurthzone** » Jul 14 2002 11:27 pm

Rick,

I have been thinking much about you over the weekend and I believe collective HAZ is in agreement with the statements I'm going to make. When I first read your "Double Crap!" thread my heart was burdened and I was troubled by you telling the doctor not to remove the larynx; that you would not live without being able to speak. God bless MaryPhyl who came on and expressed her feelings and you reversed your decision. I could not agree more with her. You mentioned God's will in your initial post. I truly believe that it is God's will that you live! Even if that means without vocal chords. God can use you. Do you need a voice to rescue a dog from misfortune? Do you need speech to offer your services as a shuttle driver even when you can't participate in numerous events? God's will is going on all around us 24-7. Every person has the same opportunity to know Him and join in. The best relationship in the universe is with Him. I have never heard your voice in my life, yet in my heart you are my friend and you have influenced my thoughts with your compassion and generosity, not to mention your ability to make me LOL. Yet I have never heard you speak! What do you think God wants YOU to do? I think you have made the wise decision. You are in my prayers and also the prayers of my church. It is a church of prayer and it's right there in your neighborhood. Check it out at http://www.ccvonline.com/.

Your Friend,

Snick33 · Post by **Snick33** » Jul 15 2002 10:04 am

I will never be able to express my appreciation for the collective response to my situation. I don't know what form my vision of God takes, I do know that their are no atheists in fox holes, and their are probably no atheists with throat cancer. I'm reminded of the scene in "Joe Versus the Volcano" where Tom Hanks watches the moon rise on the ocean, and simply states: "I'm sorry,I've forgotten how big you are". How could anyone walk in the Superstitions or the Mazatzals and not realize that someone else is in control of the Universe besides you and I.

Thanks to all of you who pointed out that I don't need a voice to hike, or to rescue puppys. And thanks to my youngest son Kyle, who pointed out that I'll be a better listener . . . . . . . if I can talk so much.

I'll report back on Wednesday

olesma · Post by **olesma** » Jul 15 2002 10:37 am

Good luck with the exam Rick. We'll be praying for the best of news.

It's good to have friends - isn't it.

Even ones you've never met before.

As an editorial aside:

Reading the posts and replys in this thread, I was struck once again by what a great and unique place HAZ is. Rick, a great guy who none of us has ever met, let's us know of a tragic circumstance in his life. The rest of us - no matter how long or how often we have been active in the site - immediately respond with our mutual love and support (in whatever form that takes for us personally).

Rick - the good man he is - takes it all in, and actually listens (you can tell Kyle that the process has already begun Rick) and reacts with what I think is the more difficult response - acceptance of our expressions of support, and genuine gratefulness. Well done Rick - you deserve the best, and you have a lot of people pulling for just that.

This is a really good group of people created in a very unique situation - I've never encountered anything quite like it, but I'm darned happy and proud to be a part of it.

MaryPhyl · Post by **MaryPhyl** » Jul 15 2002 12:14 pm

I saved this quote awhile back. I think it might apply to life in general just as well.

Once a journey is designed, equipped, and put in process; a new factor enters and
takes over. A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys. It
has personality, temperment, individuality, uniqueness. A journey is a person in itself; no
two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after
years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. Only when this is recognized
can the blown-in-the-glass bum relax and go along with it. Only then do the frustrations
fall away. In this a journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you
control it. I feel better now, having said this, although only those who have experienced it
will understand it.

from Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck

Snick33 · Post by **Snick33** » Jul 15 2002 1:46 pm

John Steinbeck Travels, with Charley.

Why can't I write like that?

Have you read "Shipping News", or any of Ann Proulox's book? Ann is the Steinbeck of the next generation. Her writing is is wonderful.

Thanks again for your thoughts

MaryPhyl · Post by **MaryPhyl** » Jul 15 2002 4:12 pm

Snick33 wrote:John Steinbeck Travels, with Charley.

Why can't I write like that?

LOL That's why we bother to quote them I guess.

I too am waiting for results of an MRI I took last Thursday--the medical profession leaves something to be desired methinks. The waiting and uncertainty is the worst part--we can adjust to what we know.

AZHiker · Post by **AZHiker** » Jul 17 2002 6:49 pm

Hey Snick, been away for a while and this is the first thread I am reading. Bummer!

I agree with the rest, screw the voice, if it comes to that, the trick is to LIVE!! You can still do the things you always have done and love. You can still hike and enjoy the outdoors as before. So you may not be able to speak, so what. Everything else remains the same, with a twist...you will truly appreciate the things other people take for granted.

The best my friend, and carpe diem.

Stephen

Double Crap!

Double Crap!

Thanks to all

He is my favorite author, and that is my favorite book

Re: He is my favorite author, and that is my favorite book