"The Canyon" Movie

Nan · Post by **Nan** » Jul 19 2009 5:51 am

If you haven't seen the trailer for "The Canyon", go look it up on YouTube now, it's hilarious. A couple takes a private mule trip into the Canyon with a guide they meet in a bar - they go down South Kaibab to Antelope Canyon, and apparently wind up in Yellowstone by the end 'cause they're attacked by wolves.

JimmyLyding · Post by **JimmyLyding** » Jul 20 2009 3:58 pm

Hahaha. Looks like they somehow also managed to get over to Antelope Canyon. It's too bad that they didn't throw any killer sasquatches in there!

Nan · Post by **Nan** » Jul 20 2009 6:24 pm

I think the mules should've caught the hanta virus and turned into flesh-eating zombies!

JimmyLyding · Post by **JimmyLyding** » Jul 20 2009 11:53 pm

Nan, that's a great movie idea. Maybe I can requisition a video camera, and we can make a spoof-y horror-ish flick about the Mogollon Monster. Or we can do it on my cellphone which would be exceptionally cutting-edge (and of poor quality). Wally could play the monster, and Joe B. would be the happy-go-lucky hiker (wearing a safari hat, of course) who dispatches the beast after fighting for his life against the Creature From Horton Spring. I would be happy to portray the token "guy who gets killed." Cinematic masterpiece.

SuperstitionGuy · Post by **SuperstitionGuy** » Jul 21 2009 9:45 am

Can I wear my mask

and carry a bloody chain saw for a cameo

performance?

JimmyLyding · Post by **JimmyLyding** » Jul 23 2009 12:41 am

SuperstitionGuy, you're in! I have a few other ideas:
*We have to work in Clem the Arizona alligator. I know he's been captured, but anyone who's dumb enough to watch our movie won't know that. The trick, however, is that Clem has to be a 25-foot-long radioactive mutant (due to uranium contamination) that is addicted to human flesh. There's a reason so few people live in northwestern Arizona....
*The ghost of John Wesley Powell will inform us how to get out alive. Think Obi-Wan Kenobi in 'Star Wars.' However, there will be one member of the doomed team who disregards his sage advice, and suffers a fate worse than death at the hands of....
*The Killer Bobcat of Cottonwood. Of course this bobcat will be as big as a sabertooth tiger, and also addicted to human flesh.
*Do not forget the crazed, inbred mutants from Colorado City. The Prophet will instruct these mutants to ensure that nobody leaves his territory alive!
*We have to find a way for Joe to kill the mutants, the Mogollon Monster, Clem, and the monster bobcat with his tevas.
I've seen sandals that have bottle-openers on the bottom, so maybe we could fashion a pair of tevas into having concealed weapons. Maybe the left Teva has a throwing knife in it, and the right one has propels throwing stars with just the right movement.
*We also need some good-looking females so people who are foolish enough to watch such a trashy movie (i.e. men between the ages of 15 and 70) actually have a reason to watch it.

Coming soon....

Nan · Post by **Nan** » Jul 24 2009 6:42 am

James, that's what I was thinking, we need a tough chick to strip down to her underwear and go after the creature with a speargun-mounted nuke or something. Would have to be someone a bit *ahem* younger than me though if we want to get the 20-somethings into the theater...

te_wa · Post by **te_wa** » Jul 24 2009 6:53 am

Nan wrote:if we want to get the 20-somethings into the theater...

i think Yvonne Strahovski is doing just that

writelots · Post by **writelots** » Jul 24 2009 9:00 am

Wow, James. I think your plot sounds more believable than the one the trailer proposes...

JimmyLyding · Post by **JimmyLyding** » Jul 24 2009 12:55 pm

I'm continuing to brainstorm about this idea before filming begins in the fall.

Sun_Ray · Post by **Sun_Ray** » Jul 24 2009 4:32 pm

I just hope a bunch of folks don't think this GC trip is really cool and we get a flood of newbies hiking the canyon!

JimmyLyding · Post by **JimmyLyding** » Jul 24 2009 4:57 pm

Ray, this film is going to portray the GC in a decidedly UNCOOL light

te_wa · Post by **te_wa** » Jul 24 2009 5:14 pm

maybe we should arm the nudist bobcat and send him to fossil springs

JimmyLyding · Post by **JimmyLyding** » Jul 24 2009 9:22 pm

Anyone remember the '80s schlock movie 'Slithis?' Perhaps we could work in a monster created by all of the trash @ Fossil Springs?

azbackpackr · Post by **azbackpackr** » Jul 25 2009 5:18 am

Ok I actually looked for this on You Tube. I have looked at You Tube about 4 times in my life (I'm not into video) so I don't know much about finding stuff on there. I clicked on The Canyon Movie trailer, like you said to. There is a trailer for a new Grand Canyon movie, this really dumb blockbuster show with Robert Kennedy Jr. I see where there are some related flicks on there, but nothing that sounded like a comedy. Why not post the link, Nan, so I can find it? Thanks.

PaleoRob · Post by **PaleoRob** » Jul 25 2009 6:24 pm

azbackpackr wrote:nothing that sounded like a comedy. Why not post the link, Nan, so I can find it? Thanks.

Its not intentionally funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IINlmvGOF8

azbackpackr · Post by **azbackpackr** » Jul 26 2009 3:39 am

OMG, that thing is just shamefully bad! Ugh! I hope it's a giant, huge FLOP! I cannot engender within myself any financial well-wishes toward producers of such a film, despite the fact that I know that people in the film industry work long hours, take financial risks, and need to make a living like the rest of us.

Thanks for your internet help, PageRob!

nonot · Post by **nonot** » Jul 26 2009 6:30 pm

Nan » Jul 24 2009 6:42 am

Nan wrote:James, that's what I was thinking, we need a tough chick to strip down to her underwear and go after the creature ... Would have to be someone a bit *ahem* younger than me though if we want to get the 20-somethings into the theater...

te-wa wrote: i think Yvonne Strahovski is doing just that

If that's the case, why all this attention on the quality of the plot ???

Nan · Post by **Nan** » Jul 27 2009 8:35 pm

Sorry, azbackpacker, I should've specified unintentionally hilarious. ;)

Hey, are we allowed to post outside links here now?

azbackpackr · Post by **azbackpackr** » Jul 28 2009 4:10 am

Yeah, Nan, you've been doing too much hiking and not enough hanging out on HAZ! ;) We can post links here now! Thank you, Joe!

And now I know what a "trailer" is. I don't pay any attention to movies, so I don't know these things. I always thought a trailer was in the trailer park, y'know!

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