Route Editor
Route Scout
Its all in fun not to be taken seriously.
I consider myself a backpacker though
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Hikers…
2. Backpackers...
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Backpackers spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
(while they were drinking beer).
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the backpackers by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching, and hair dressing.
Some of these hikers eventually evolved into women. Those became known
as girlie-men. Some noteworthy hiker achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of the guitar campfire, group hugs, and the
concept of deciding how to divide the meat and beer that backpackers provided.
Modern hikers like beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well
done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard fare. Another
interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher
testosterone levels than their men.
Modern backpackers drink domestic made beer. They eat red meat
and pack weapons. They still hunt big game.
Here ends today's lesson in history:
So what are you?
